Missing the Limo
In the arena of my love life, lack of self confidence must have caused me to miss quite some opportunities. Sometimes, I miss buses, sometimes I miss trains. Once in a while, even chauffeur driven limousines. In my long course of being obsessed with the fact that I definitely have more serious defects compared to other normal girls, I have let pass a lot of men in my life I thought were gems. One of them was Dr.Dr came across to me as one of the most genuine person I have ever met… or never met. It is weird I would say that but well, we met on the internet but we never met in real life.
Again, some computer parked in some cold server room somewhere thought we were compatible so we started off emailing. Dr. was 9 years my senior but it was amazing how well we got along. It was really fun mailing him as he would crack the most original and funniest joke that leaves me smiling even thinking about it later. After a while, we also started to chat on the phone. Dr has a sexy booming voice that could put some local DJs to shame. I remember calling him a couple of times when I was at my lowest, most of them caused by work pressure. Bimbos and multinational organizations sometimes have their personal conflicts. And maybe it was because of the age difference, most of the time before I could even finish my story, Dr. saw where the problem was and quickly gave me a few pointers on what to do, how to improve and threw in some humour, just to kill the tears. So there I have in front of me, Dr = Perfect. He was nice, funny, down to earth, a doctor and most of all, he’s single!
But no matter how well we got along, we never met each other in real life. Dr tried all tricks he could think to persuade me into meeting up with him. But me, being guilty of sometimes having the confidence of a dim wit, never dared to take the bold move. Dr. was my close friend for almost 3 years. He started off single for a long time and then the major turn of event between us happened when he met his wife.
The day he and his wife got registered, he wrote me a mail to tell me that the time has come for him to let whatever it is we have between us go. I felt very sad losing a person who has played such an important role in my life in the past few years go but who else was there to blame but myself? If only I had the confidence to meet him. In a way, maybe I was afraid I was not good enough for him and I was too afraid to lose, therefore, was too afraid to confront it or to give it a real chance. I was afraid of being hurt. Or maybe, it was just not meant to be.
Self confidence really does play a big role in our lives. And learning from my own story, I tried my best never to let self confidence come in the way ever again. Bimbotic or not, my self confidence stays. Ugly or not, my courage remains. Never will I stand on the pavement and watch another limousine drive offer pass on. Which is why, I’m hanging on to Narrrling’s limo and I hope he too enjoys the ride. ;)
posted by Miki-C @ 7:58 AM
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