Insights into a Bimbo's Mind

God's Gift to Men

Thursday, March 03, 2005

Ahem… everyone must wonder why Poulotte specifically pointed me out for Pole dancing classes. Wait, is Miki-C the famous legendary pole dancing Seductress? Yeah, baby.. Do you know what my other name is? It’s M for Matahari and I am the Superior, Sexy, Seductive, Sensual pole dancing queen…. Not!

I remember going to this local club called Barfly a couple of years ago. Every night at 11pm, a group of dancers with bodies from heaven will step onto the bar and do their thing around the poles, grinding their sexy behinds, pouting their full lips, the men were in nirvana. Not just the men, even I was captivated by how these girls promote themselves instantly from bar girl to God’s gift to men. When they shake their sexy rears in your face, you tend to forget your mother’s name. It was then that I made a promise with my bimbotic self. Miki-C, you shall throw out all those high and mighty royal values, you shall one day dance on a pole and show ‘em all…. but after I lose 10kg.

So I sat around waiting for the 10kgs to go, and at the same time longing for the pole everytime I went to Barfly, longed to join the line of superior being. Then God answered my prayers. He flew me all the way across to the other side of the world to a little club in the middle of the Netherlands. I was on one of those extended holidays with Narrrling. When I walked into the club, the first thing I noticed was, Hey, a pole.. A lonely pole standing in the middle of the room!

Immediately, my analytical mind went to work and came up with a list of cause and effects, pros and cons. I thought, first of all, I am in the middle of Europe, halfway across the world. If I screwed up, no one will see. But ofcourse, there’s always Narrrling, but chances of him dumping me because I screwed up at a dancing pole sounded unrealistic. So what have I got to lose? NOTHING! Then I decided, ok, it is NOW or NEVER! Forget about the 10kgs! But the DJ was playing some slow jazzy music, very un-barfly kind of music. So I waited.. Told Narrrling what I was up to and even he got a bit nervous. So we both waited..

Then suddenly, the music changed and the perrrrfect pole dancing music came on.. Upon 2 seconds of hearing the sweet sounds of Beyonce’s Naughty Girl, I ran to the pole and tried to make history.. I grabbed the pole and swung myself around it.. I tried grinding my hips around it.. I tried to stroke the pole and in my head, used my best to imagine I was one of those hot steamy Goddesses of Barfly.. but alas.. I felt a tad too uncomfortable.. After a very long minute of trying to make something out of the pole, I realized.. something seems to be wrong.. Some people were just giving me strange stares..

I released my grip on the pole and turned around to look at Narrrling, and to my complete surprise, I saw a tall, leggy, sexily attired girl standing behind me, with both hands on her hips, glaring at me.. It was then that I realized! SHIT! They changed the music for a performance!!! Immediately, I half walked and half ran back to Narrrling, with an uncomfortable smile on my face.. the moment I was 3 feet away from the pole, the sexy girl behind me grabbed the pole and swung into motion… Then, everyone look relieved, as if glad i wasn't the one performing tonight...

That night, I had to force myself not to leave the club immediately in embarrassment, and walking around, I was almost 200% sure that everyone had a smirk on their face when they saw me.. I asked Narrrling how I did and he still said I was good and the sexy girl was too skinny and not very skilled in pole dancing.. I was better it seems.. Narrrling, I guess is one of those who’ll tell humongous lies to protect their loved ones.. But I’m not going to audition for American Pole Dancing idol for sure.

So to cut a long story short, Poulotte, I don’t think I can do pole dancing anymore. Maybe it’s the 10kgs but I just don’t think I’m cut out for it. Till now, I still think to myself, thank God that night I didn’t get so hung up in my own performance that I started stripping.. Phew!

posted by Miki-C @ 1:15 PM