Expectations
Isn’t it amazing sometimes what expectations can do to us?When it is low, coming home from work at 10pm is lucky, bringing home a piece of cake with him is a pleasant surprise, having tv dinner together is fun and most of all, being called his gal is a privilege.
When it is high, a normal boyfriend seems unthoughtful, a normal meal appears bland, a fashionable bag as a present seems impractical and a candlelight dinner appears cliché.
Then the ultimate disaster strikes when couples don’t share the same expectations. One says the surprise is a dinner! The other says dinner after work is a surprise? The loooong awaited and anticipated surprise?
I now realize that having my expectations managed is indeed very important. I do know that there is nothing wrong with dinner after work. BUT the same ‘dinner after work’ being positioned as the month long anticipated surprise might be a lil’ bit too cruel for the eager anticipant.
So what happens when expectations are not managed properly? The eager anticipant feels guilty for feeling disappointed while the surprise maker feels bad for disappointing the eager anticipant. But at the end of the day, none is to blame. Shit happens, I guess. But it’s not all downhill from here…
From now on, the eager anticipant lowers her expectations. When surprise maker says there’s a surprise in store, Eager anticipant thinks it’s just a dinner like that last time so anything better than that is fantabulous. And the surprise maker, learning from this experience that dinner after work is not exactly a surprise to the eager anticipant, might start thinking up some fireworks the next time.
posted by Miki-C @ 7:49 AM
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