Insights into a Bimbo's Mind

Give me back my Fingers!

Friday, December 16, 2005

I am finally a complete woman/girl. Loud as I am, bragging about being the ultimate bimbo all the time, there is always one thing I never admitted. That in my 29 years of life, I have never really been a complete woman. What can I do? Being a complete woman requires so much self-control, it’s impossible! Truly impossible! How can I not bite them off?

Because of the wedding coming up, of late, I’ve had no choice but to face this problem of mine. People say if you’re not a complete woman, your wedding photographs turn out ugly for sure. So to avoid monstrous wedding pictures, I’ve decided to take a back route into solving this problem. My mantra is, if you don’t have hair, go for hair transplant, if you don’t have breasts, go for breast transplant and (in my case, it’s not that I don’t have them, but I just keep biting them off) if you don’t have nails, go to the manicure parlor and get yourself one of those glamorous acrylic nail extension treatments. And that was exactly what I did 2 days ago. Right now, 2 days into the experience, I feel like a cripple like I’ve lost my fingers forever.

I cannot tell you how I feel having to yank those %&*%&@!! darn nails 50 times out of my keyboard everyday. I cannot explain how I feel not being able to buckle my own bra in the morning behind me because those darn nails keep getting in the way. Normal things like sending an sms has become the most challenging task in the world because the whole tip of my 10 fingers has been consumed by this thing they call French tips. Everything I attempt to touch with the flat of my finger, the extended nail touches something else on top of it. If I pressed 2nd floor on the elevator, if the buttons are close enough, suddenly the 3rd floor is activated as well. So that doesn’t really help when I’m trying to type my passwords, when the nail and the finger both tries to type at the same time.

Ugggh… how can people have nails??? I can’t even dig my nose if I wanted to(NOTE: If i wanted to.. not that i do, ok)... To prove this, I jabbed my finger into my nostril. Before my finger even reached the part where the gold is hidden, my nails are already hitting the roof. I jabbed my finger into my ears and they can’t even go in! What the hell is this business about having finger nails? What can I do with them besides using them to scratch my backside?!!

posted by Miki-C @ 1:47 PM