Insights into a Bimbo's Mind

Pain in the heart

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Last weekend proved to be one of the most traumatic weekends I’ve had for a very long time and I swear my heart was broken over and over again through the course of events that took place. There were many times I tried my best to hold back tears with no success while other times, I succeeded with putting on a strong expression. Yet, I wasn’t even the one most affected by this traumatic experience. I was only an onlooker.

Last weekend, my 10-month-old nephew was hospitalized for pneumonia at the temperature close to 40 degrees. You must know that my nephew, at 10 months has yet learnt to utter a single word and yet at times of great pain and fear, he screamed, “Ma ma! Ma ma!” for help. My sister could only stand by the side and watch while 4 nurses held her precious son down to put a needle into his hand over and over again, over and over again. They couldn’t find his veins for the injections. His hands were too small. At one point, the doctor turned to my sister and told her, “I’m sorry, we have no choice but to put the needle in blindly because it is impossible to find his veins.” With this, the doctor asked my sister to leave the room. That few steps to leave the room was the most painful steps my sister has ever taken in her life.

From outside, my sister could only hear her son’s screams for her. Do you know how it feels as a mother to have your son held down in the next room going through such pain while you stood outside just helplessly listening to him crying out for you? Do you know how it feels to BE held down helplessly by 4 strange figures while the only support and pillar of strength you have just went away? As an onlooker, I could do nothing but watch in pain and cry. I cried for my sister who is going through extreme pain in the heart and I cried for my nephew who has miracly learnt to scream for Ma Ma at times of desperation, pain and fear.

Timothy’s twin sister at home became quiet and reserved the day Timothy went away to the hospital. Where is this other boy she crawls after everyday? Where is this other boy who spend hours with her whacking an orange plastic bag to make some weird snazzy noises? Timothy is still in the hospital today after 1 week but his temperature has gone down from 40 degrees to a normal 36.7 degrees. According to the doctor, if his coughing fits subside over the next few days, he can go home again. I can’t wait for the day the twins see each other again. And for the whole family to put this entire episode of nightmares behind us. Timothy, do get well soon. We love you sooooo much.

posted by Miki-C @ 1:42 PM