Strange Desires
Thursday, September 22, 2005I have meant to blog about my 2-week business trip to the Netherlands recently. Everything I saw and experienced new this time around back in Europe, I kept a note of it at the back of my head. Everyday, I told myself to put something down so that I’ll remember what I wanted to blog about but I never got around to it, as I was trying my best to squeeze in some fun in between the heavy work schedule and meetings. Some of the fun involved a stolen weekend holiday to London that included tons of shopping, Les Miserables, Tom Cruise and a flight back to NL missed, followed by a very stressful night as I had a meeting with a vendor early the following morning in another country. Now that my 2 weeks in Europe is over and I’m sitting back here yet again on the same old cream colored couch in my living room, I am sorry to say that I have forgotten almost all that I have wanted to blog about. Though I promise I’ll try to jog my memory this weekend to try recalling some of those stories.
This is my 3rd time around to Europe in the last 12 months but the significant factor that makes this trip very much different from the last two is that, this is a business trip. The kind of trip where upon return, it becomes a taboo to talk about the stolen weekends in London and the following weekend of fun in Brugge, Belgium. When asked, you talk mostly about how the meetings went and whether the weather was cold and never about that cute pink wallet you bought in Selfridges nor the piano books you managed to get at half price in Bond Street. Basically, needed to put up a non-bimbo disguise to cater to the professional working environment.
Talking about work, a strange wave has been passing through my bimbotic head recently, and it feels really alien. After the switch of jobs a month ago, I don’t know why but I can actually feel myself growing more and more ambitious. I mean, I’ve been brain dead for 2 years at least in my previous job surfing the internet the whole day with nothing to do most of the time.. And now suddenly I feel totally alive again because I see a ladder. I see a path to climb. I see opportunities.
I use to hate department social gatherings and I use to dodge the bosses like I was dodging a loan shark who was trying to collect money from me. Hated all the small conversations I had to make with the intimidating foreigner bosses, having to talk in that ever prim, proper and non-bimbotic way. I hated it.
In this new job, I am placed to sit right beside my big(x2) boss and strangely, I am not complaining. Initially I hated the idea and tried to get out of it, but after a while, I thought to myself, this is more of an opportunity than a loss. Great! Make the mistake of putting me beside the boss and he will be my best friend. Just wait and see.
Then today, I did something out of my bimbotic character again. We were having a party at the pantry, launching a new office wing. One of the activities were for us to pick up a mug, read the name on it and then walk around looking for the person who owns it to present the mug to him/her. Ignoring that rule, ofcourse the bimbo queen was hovering over the pile of mugs busy looking for her own mug instead. That was when big(x3) boss came up behind me, not sure if jokingly but he said, “Pssst…Have you spotted your mug? If you see Kim’s mug, let me know ok?”
Well, I had no idea who Kim was and neither have I seen his/her mug. After a while, I gave up even looking for my own mug. Later that day, right before I left for home, I made my usual routine visit to the toilet before the long drive home. Don’t ask me how or why but lo and behold, there was a mug sitting in the toilet cubicle I was in. And surprise surprise, Kim’s mug was sitting right there waiting for me. I guess I could have left it there like I usually would because I know Kim would probably have came back and collected it from the toilet (strange place to pick up your mug though). So this is where the out of character part of me came out. Very automatically, I picked up the mug and put it into my bag and in my head, tomorrow I was going to bring this mug to the big(x3) boss. While I was driving home just now, it suddenly crossed my mind that I did something very out of character. In the last 2 years, you’d have to step over my dead body if you wanted me to talk to big(x1) boss.. Now I’m intentionally keeping a mug to create opportunities to be noticed by big(x3)boss? My goodness, Miki-C, what is the world becoming to?
So yeah, ever since I’ve started this job, I seem to have little weird streaks of myself breaking through from within, like logging onto the network the moment I got home to check emails and working very hard the whole day at my cubicle holding in my pee unconsciously cos no time to go toilet. Honestly, I am still exploring this side of me and is a little confused if I should continue to pursue my lifetime ambitions of lazing around painting my toenails and fight this inner desire of actually trying to become something at work, or really give it a go and make something out of it. The feeling is so strange, it almost makes me feel like a cross dresser, like I was always something but now suddenly, I want to be something/someone else. Weird.
The very beautiful town of Brugge by night
posted by Miki-C @ 1:40 PM
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