Insights into a Bimbo's Mind

Little wonders

Tuesday, August 30, 2005

I had dinner with a group of ex colleagues last night. The kind of ex-colleagues who have over the years, evolved into the kind of ex colleagues that no matter how long ago our last meetup was, there is never a silent nor cold moment whenever we get together again. And everytime we meet up, there is always a certain trend in our conversations. We spend the first hour catching up, “How’s married life?” “How’s your son?” “How’s your business doing?” “Which guy are you seeing now?”. After we’ve reached a certain level feeling satisfied that we’re reasonably up to date with each other’s lives again, we start the ritual bitching about our mutual ex colleagues. There’s the girl who wears her uncle’s pants, the one who took drinking water from the company for personal consumption at home, the boss who talked too much, the womanizer who went to Hong Kong and although we’ve talked about these same characters a million times over our meetups in the last 5 years, we never get tired of them. This goes on to explain that sometimes, it’s great to have weirdos among us in our everyday lives, they give us topics to talk about until we’re 70.

Then yesterday, we also came to the topic of children. Out of the blue, Nana asked me, “Now that you’re married, do you want to have children?” Without thinking twice, I said, “Oh Yes, of course”.

Later that night, I went home and pondered upon this topic. Narrrling and I, the furthest we’ve gone down this topic was cracking jokes about how we intend to harvest and sell the human parts of our kid to medical institutions to make ourselves richer. Narrrling somehow has the impression that his child will always be perfect. Last night I asked him, what if he’s a monster? What if he is violent and offends everyone and anyone within 1 metre’s radius of him? The same response I got from Narrrling, just like all the other times, “Then I’ll sell his kidneys to Assunta Hospital!”. Normally I would have continued with the liver to Pantai Hospital but this time, I refused to go down that direction. I mean, I know I want to have children but does Narrrling really want that too?

On more serious days, I remember a couple of times, I asked him the same question and most of the time, he’ll say, “Sure, anything you want, darling.” I have observed Narrrling a couple of times with kids. There are some guys whom you can tell immediately is a natural with kids. Kids love them instantly and within 2 minutes, you have 1 of them hanging from his shoulder, and another 1 hanging from his waist, both probably laughing hysterically. Narrrling unfortunately, is not someone like that. I’ve seen him a couple of times with my sister’s babies on his lap. He looked awkward like he was afraid of crushing their bones if he moved the wrong way. His attempt to play with the baby was putting his humongous index finger in front of the 8 month old baby’s eyes, almost like he was checking if they could focus or do a cock eye. The moment they cry, oh yeah, the moment they cry, Narrrling looked like he was in deeper agony than the babies themselves. When you finally ease the baby away from his arms, you’re almost unsure if you’re saving the baby or saving Narrrling. You know what I mean?

I guess this leaves me to ponder about what exactly make people think they are ready to have children? Is children a mere progression in life? The Chinese seems to think that for some bizarre reasons, their blood and name should be passed on to the next generation. But modern folks like us, do we really care? Since we don’t care about blood and name, why do we want to have children? Honestly, I don’t know why but I still want one someday. I wonder why too.

posted by Miki-C @ 1:37 PM