Insights into a Bimbo's Mind

The Story of Big Bertha

Friday, December 30, 2005

Narrrling and I took our wedding photographs yesterday. Boy, have I prepared myself for this session in the last few months. I’ve practically gone off solid food and lived on diet shakes and teas for this. You see, I had a lot of worries for this session because previously I’ve had many bad experiences with make-up artists who fail to see the faults of my face and does the wrong thing to make it even worse. When it comes to make up artists, amateurs and professionals really make a big difference and if someone wanted to prove their skills, doing a job on my face will do it. What with the small eyes, blunt nose and crooked lips? You’d better know your stuffs before you attempt my face. Yesterday I got lucky, the make-up artist was good! Even Narrrling, who’s never a fan of heavy make up said so. So the make up artist was good, the dresses I chose remained beautiful as ever. Then what’s the problem? Well, the simple fact that the bride herself remains fat…. And that is my only worry for now.

Narrrling and I met up with the hotel and the wedding decorator last weekend and everything seems to be going just fine and falling into place. Last night, one of my wedding emcee took a lot of self initiative to organize a meeting with his co-emcee and called me to start the ball rolling between them. For your information, I have engaged two gay men, who also happen to be one of my closest friends to be my wedding emcees. They are talented, quick witted and dashing, which is why I think my wedding will be fun. Honestly, I think I’m very lucky to find a group of wonderful and responsible friends helping me make this wedding a success.. I also think, the wedding is going to be a beautiful one, with the wedding decorator being one of the best in town. Yet, my problem remains. The bride herself is fat.. Oh my oh my oh my… what am I going to do?

Yesterday, there was a point where 3 men being the photographer, his assistant and Narrrling was standing at a park where we were doing outdoor shoots, bending over my butt, trying to sort out the zip of my wedding dress that has derailed due to the extreme bride’s fat pressure applied to it. People driving by were honking and the jerks on motorcycles were doing wolf whistles. I didn’t hear them because all I was thinking about then was whether the grey panties I was wearing were the new ones or the old battered ones with washed out colors. Since Narrrling later mentioned that my panties were light blue instead of dark grey, I guess it was the latter. Great..

But fat or not fat, the photo session was fun. Narrrling, being the rebellious gweilo, challenged the photographer’s artistic vibes numerous times and once demanded for a bright green background when I was wearing a deep red dress.. Narrrling says it gives it a very Shanghai look? Hmm.. I wonder where he got that idea that bright apple green and deep red is Shanghainese. After a couple of challenges, the photographer started suggesting bizarre things as well, such as me wearing a nice sweet dress but sitting with my feet propped high up on a chair looking like I’m some sort of Big Bertha in disguise in a sweet white dress. I thought it was only a matter of time before he handed me a cigar for another rebellious artistic vibe… Some shots, he asked Narrrling to carry Big Bertha and when he did, the photographer took what must seem like a million years to Narrrling before he finally snapped the photo.... Big Bertha just played along as the fuel of artistic vibes between the two continues. It our wedding photos turn out bizarre, it’ll be fun to watch…

Watch this space and who knows, I might post some of them up when I get it…. By the way, Happy New Year to all! … from the president’s office of the Bimboz’ club …

posted by Miki-C @ 1:48 PM