Insights into a Bimbo's Mind

Baby, Please Don't Be Like your Mother...

When I was young, my mother use to say to me, "You just wait! One day when you have a child of your own, you will know how this feels!"

When I was young, I have never been an easy child especially to my mother. So now being 7 months pregnant and about to raise a kid of my own, my mother's phrase uttered somewhat 20 plus years ago keeps ringing in my ears. Some people say, "What goes around, comes around" and if that is true, I am soooo going to be in on a roller-coaster ride, the special double terror triple horror edition.

My first baby sitter who took care of both my older sister and brother gave up on me after 1 month. Her exact words were, "Mrs C, I raise the white flag on this last one". My mother had to scramble to find me a replacement baby-sitter.

Oh man, I was such a difficult child. I actually remember the times when I was a kid of about 6 years old and if anyone, just anyone touches me or makes me unhappy or if I didn't get my way, I would scream and cry at the top of my lungs (on purpose). Somehow I knew at that tender age of 6, the louder I screamed, the more the other person would back off, irregardless of who it is or what it is about. It could be my mother, my sister, my brother or my chinese maid, I always got my way in the end....

One very vivid memory I still have in my mind is my daily breakfast arguements with my mother during my primary school days. My mother is a nurse and no matter how tired she is from the previous day's night shift and although she didn't have to get up to make us breakfast, she still made a point to get up at the wee hours of every morning to see us 3 kids through breakfast and to wave us off in the school bus. Our daily arguement was always about the same thing. *drum roll* .The temperature of my cup of Milo. For some reason, back then I always felt that my mother could never get the temperature right. One day it was too hot, another day it was too cold. And i would push it aside everyday without fail saying that it's either too hot or too cold.. And my poor mother would have to fix the temperature until it was just right for my standards, either with more hot water or with ice cubes. Some days my mother tries to coo me into accepting my cup of Milo as it is or to have a bit of tolerance on its temperature but I never could. If it was not just right, I would just refuse it and go to school without touching it. This thing called temperature is also a very subjective matter, sometimes it depends on other depending factors. For eg. How long i take to eat my bread. Even if my mom fixed it just right, if i took too long on my bread, by the time I got to the Milo, it would be too cold. So it was trouble everyday and my poor mother had to put up with my nonsense.

Thinking back, if that was my kid, I probably would have let her go to school without it. I can imagine myself saying, "TOO BAD LAH!!"

But yeah.. easier said than done... Mothers always worry. After all, I am cut from the same cloth as my mother. What makes me think I'll be a tougher mother compared to her? So this is where I crumble at the thought of my mother's words, "You just wait! One day when you have a child of your own, you will know how this feels!"

Narrrling himself haven't been great neither. He said he use to accuse his mother of child slavery when he was a kid. He told me he shouted at his mother, "I know! You gave birth to me because you just want somebody to wash the plates and do the housework!!"

I slept with my parents until I was rather old and for some reason, I put up a big fuss every night about going to sleep. I lie in bed whining and whining because something was always not right. If i happen to wake up in the middle of the night, I continued my whining until I fell asleep again. My mom as usual put up with my nonsense and when I got old enough, one night I got a serious spanking from my father about whining at night. That was the very first time my father ever smacked my backside but thinking back, he waited pretty long before doing that. Having a whiny kid in bed every night is really no fun i guess.

A sweet girl who lives next door came by to my house one afternoon to visit. She saw me lying in my swinging cot for my afternoon nap and tried to coo me to sleep. So she starting singing some really sweet lullaby songs to me. I still remember back then, I thought it was the the most ridiculous thing ever that someone would try to sing me to sleep so I started laughing everytime she opened her mouth... Instead of sleeping, I was laughing at that sweet neighbour girl a-la "Who are you kidding" style. I continued laughing until she gave up probably thinking I was a mental case goner. Wasn't I such a mean kid?

I was also a sore loser. My siblings and I played a lot of imaginative role-playing war games when we were young. Each one of us had our own army and we all have our own special weapons. My brother's was an old broken umbrella, my sister had a broomstick and me, I could never find a fixed weapon for my army. Being the youngest, I always wanted their weapons instead. And since I was 4 - 6 years younger than them, I was always losing out because I couldn't think of a fight back strategy quick enough. My brother shouts, "Now we're breaking down your barricade!! Shooting at your soldiers! Chut! Chut! Chut! Chut! Chut!" (by the way, that's the sound of his old umbrella machine gun killing my soldiers)... And that's when I start to.......CRY!!!! And ofcourse, as loud as possible! I guess crying was my no.1 weapon because through some miraculous decision making process, my brother's army will always surrender very quickly once I start wailing. But very soon I found that no army wants to go to war with my army anymore and I was left alone playing on my own and once in a while, my game was to be a nuisance to everyone around the house.

Oh man, why was I such a difficult kid? Now I'm going to get the favour back from my own kid for sure. Days of justice are near! What if my child accuses me of child slavery when I'm teaching him the concept of 'responsbility'? What if my child screams violently because he doesn't get his way or his stupid Milo is too cold? I heard that the cane is now out of fashion and positive parenting is in. How long can I practice this positive parenting thing before I let myself relent to the good ol' fashioned cane? I bet my father persisted on positive parenting on my whiny nights for years until he realised that nothing brought positive results better than that good ol' 'backhand' parenting.

I don't know, man. I guess I've just gotta take it as it comes. Oh baby, if you can hear me at all, please don't be like your mother, ok?

By the way, I've set up a new space for the little one here. Enjoy reading!

posted by Miki-C @ 12:50 PM