Insights into a Bimbo's Mind

Celebrating it Their Own Way..

I attended a wedding dinner a few weekends ago. I have always loved wedding dinners because they are one of my rare opportunities to play dress up. If an Indian friend gets married, La Bimbo dons her best sari or Punjabi suit. If a Malay friend gets married, then here comes the glamour sequined nyonya kebaya. Where else do I wear all those nice dresses / costumes if not for somebody’s wedding?

This wedding I attended recently was a Chinese wedding in Klang, in a restaurant called 'Restoran Taman Rashna'. Ok, I know that doesn’t exactly sound glitzy but I chose not to see the obvious evidence.

The moment we opened the front door to the wedding venue, both Narrrling and I gasped. Two different stream of thoughts were running through our heads. Narrrling thought, “Holy macaroni! What a huge wedding! The whole of Klang must be here!”, and I thought, “Oh My God! I am SOOO overdressed!”

The men were wearing slippers, the ladies were wearing a simple blouse and skirt and I even spotted a few in jeans. Even the bride was wearing a simple white gown. It was such a lucky day that I also chose to wear a light cream lacy dress that night and I almost looked like the bride myself. If not for the bride’s fashionable beehive hairstyle, I would have definitely been mistaken for the bride!

And the wedding, for as far as we could see, extending to all corners of the restaurant, every space was packed to the brim with tables and chairs. I took a peep at the guest list and saw a whopping 102 tables in the wedding…. Wow, Narrling was right, the whole of Klang was there!

And it was some wedding, alright… I guess it’s always difficult to control a big crowd, especially when everyone is crammed into a little restaurant with walls that deflects noise instead of absorbing them. Have you been in a small restaurant where when everyone’s talking at the same time, it sounds like there’s a riot going on? Everyone starts to speak louder and louder because it’s the only way they can be heard in a noisy and enclosed place like this. That was what happened in that wedding dinner of 1020 guests. It was a voice competition. I gave up speaking to people across the table. I gave up listening to what the girl sitting 2 seats away was saying. At the same time, the pastor on stage was very intensely giving a sermon that nobody could hear. Yes, believe it or not, it was a Christian wedding held in a Chinese restaurant.

Somewhere halfway through dinner, some guy came in and started selling lottery tickets to the wedding guests… Then after a while, another guy came in and sold Chinese newspapers and 4D result slips. Guests who bought newspapers also started reading newspapers as if they were back home sitting by their good ol’ TV while the bride and groom were on stage being solemnized. "I now pronounce you, Man and Wife", even though spoken loudly over the sound system, nobody heard it, so nobody clapped or acknowledged it in anyway at all. On stage, the couple and the pastor was doing their own little thing, exchanging rings, lighting each other’s candles, etc.. On the floor, the guests continued celebrating the wedding, in their own preferred way, that could translate to reading newspapers, talking as loud as they can to be heard, choosing lottery tickets and those who got hungry waiting for dinner to start, was buying keropok from this guy who came from outside selling keropok and kaya...

At some point, all the 1020 guests were asked to stand up to sing Christian worship songs and I thought it got really weird when the lottery seller continued with his business of trying to sell his lottery tickets to the guests. Some who didn’t really participate in the singing were using their 10 cent coins to scratch their lottery tickets in hope of winning that darn Proton Wira behind that silver rectangle. As usual, no luck. The lottery seller moves on with his business and the wedding guest stuffs the lottery ticket back into his pocket and continues to sing about Jesus and love.

Narrrling stopped a girl pouring Tiger beer and asked for some. The girl responded, “Sorry, Tiger is for the groom’s guests” and walked away… My jaw dropped and Narrrling quickly reached out and pushed it up again before anyone sees. After a while, some girl holding a bottle of Carlsberg walked past. We stopped the girl and asked her for some beer. With no hesitation, she filled up Narrrling’s glass and continued to do so the rest of the night. Ahhh.. I see.. So we can only drink Carlsberg since we are the guests of the bride. What an interesting segregation. Throughout the night, I was also offered XO at least 3 times by this XO waitress who looks like she’s at least 60 years old but was donned in a pair of skimpy shorts and fashionably colored hair. Strangely, she never offered Narrrling any. I guess with my cream lacy dress and all, I must have looked like I was drunk. I mean, what must this girl be thinking, wearing something like that to the wedding, right? Definitely a drunkard!

We were kind of expecting the part where they will power up the karaoke screen and some great uncle comes onto stage to render his version of Old Chinese Classics. But that never came, instead, the pastor came on stage again and sang some peaceful Christian worship songs to a very unpeaceful, loud and noisy crowd, by then half drunk with the generous offerings of XO and beer going around.

At the end of the night, quite opposite from what I expected, Narrrling said, he really enjoyed himself. The food was good, he had unlimited drinks throughout the night and experienced a totally out of this world wedding. It is not everyday that you find yourself in a bizarre circus wedding like this. As usual, that’s Narrrling’s optimistic side speaking. But yeah, I guess I wouldn’t call it the most sophisticated dinner ever, but for sure, it was a dinner where everyone celebrated the wedding in no other way but their very own way.

posted by Miki-C @ 5:25 PM 4 comments

Grow up!

A long, long time ago, this young chap bought himself a brand new expensive car and is very proud of it. “Ahhhh”, he thought, “My car is soooo cool and soooo unique. Everybody in the whole wide world is going to be sooooo envious of me. My car is one in a million! Muahwahwahwahwahwahwaaa!!!”

With much pride and joy, he drove his car to work everyday and parked his car at the most prominent spots in the company’s outdoor car park, right smack in front of the office lobby entrance. “Ahhh”, he thought, “Nobody will ever miss my car this way! Muahwahwahwahwahwwaaa!”

2 weeks later, one morning, suddenly he was told of some terrible, terrible news. It was reported that there is a sighting of another girl driving a car similar to his that morning. Upon hearing the news, he immediately dashes to the window to look outside. What he saw before him totally bewildered him.

Outside the office, he caught sight of a bimbo, with an ultra-gleeful expression on her face, zoooming up and down, up and down the office outdoor car park, obviously looking for another prominent spot to park her brand new car. Same colour, same model, same design, same car!! What the fuck!!!??? “WHO THE HELL IS SHE!!??? “, he roars…. The earth shook, the wind howled, the windows rattled… Somebody timidly runs up to him and whispers something in his ears… Suddenly, his frown turned into a smile and he says,

“Ahh...That car driven by that bimbo? It’s white man’s money”…

You know, it’s really funny. I was just wondering, were those words meant to protect the manhood? The masculinity? It’s just like automatically saying someone is a mistress when you see a young girl driving an expensive car. It’s probably a self attempt of putting some justice back into the world or to restore your faith in God? And since this bimbo is NOT someone’s mistress, you go down to the skin color? Desperately trying to find the flaw somewhere?

Listen here, boy. So what if the bimbo is driving a car her husband bought and she didn’t have to pay a single cent for it? If you had to do five day jobs and seven night jobs just to afford that car, it’s your bloody problem. You can threaten to compare dick size with my white man husband or even better, you can sell kueh teow soup during lunch time to all our colleagues to afford to have that car of yours serviced next month. I really don't care but just bloody GROW UP, will ya?

And that parking spot right smack in front of the office lobby? It's MINE!

posted by Miki-C @ 3:45 PM 3 comments

From young..

I’ve always been convinced that certain characteristics are in-born. Take a look at the picture above of Miki-C when she was almost 2. According to the family, she was participating in her own imaginary beauty pageant. Presenting to you, contestant number 2.

posted by Miki-C @ 2:48 PM 1 comments