What Men Talk About When You're Not Looking...
Yes, you put them together and this is what they talk about.... Ofcourse, names have been changed to protect the not-so-innocent, as you can see below...
[17:58] Narrrling: Hi Beng[17:58] :P Beng: Hi[17:59] Narrrling: Can you take Miki-C to the movies tonight? I’ve got an appointment, I can’t go with her.
[17:59] Narrrling: need to do this for future job[17:59] :P Beng: ok no problem[17:59] :P Beng: already told her is ok[17:59] Narrrling: thank you[18:00] :P Beng: no prob [18:00] :P Beng: credit card number please? [18:01] Narrrling: i am jobless[18:01] :P Beng: cool[18:01] Narrrling: so no money[18:01] :P Beng: but u still have money , i know, u still drive a peugeot[18:02] Narrrling: just sold[18:02] Narrrling: we are selling Miki-Cs car next[18:02] :P Beng: then u r cash rich now[18:02] :P Beng: better still[18:02] Narrrling: neeh got gambling problem[18:03] :P Beng: yeah Miki-C has drugs problems too[18:03] Narrrling: ah you know, her nickname is slush[18:03] :P Beng: what is slush?[18:03] Narrrling: sake you know[18:03] Narrrling: she loves the sake[18:04] :P Beng: yeah i know[18:04] :P Beng: she is an alcoholic too[18:04] :P Beng: and a drug abuser[18:04] Narrrling: sometimes embarrasing she sings out loud[18:04] Narrrling: beware in the cinema[18:04] :P Beng: she used to be a prostitute for the armies you know[18:05] :P Beng: i am not supposed to tell but i thought i better come clean now[18:05] Narrrling: is ok... she has many girls employed now[18:05] Narrrling: books me too[18:05] Narrrling: for japanese ladies[18:05] Narrrling: brrrrr 60+[18:05] :P Beng: cool[18:05] :P Beng: so you are officially a prostitute now?[18:06] Narrrling: nono i only do lapdance[18:06] :P Beng: cool[18:06] Narrrling: and i dance[18:06] Narrrling: exotic dance thank you[18:06] :P Beng: but i think prostitutes earn more lah[18:06] Narrrling: much more glam[18:06] Narrrling: what can I say Miki-C is my manager[18:06] Narrrling: i think she keeps 60% herself[18:07] :P Beng: Miki-C also arrange kids to america as sex slaves[18:07] :P Beng: did she tell you this too?[18:07] Narrrling: see so smart man[18:07] :P Beng: actually Miki-C has all sorts of business ok[18:07] Narrrling: why dont you work closer with her[18:07] Narrrling: your contacts her business man[18:07] :P Beng: she is into drugs, gambling, sex and etc[18:08] :P Beng: no i use her service for all my customers
Fast & Furious: Cyberjaya Drift
You wake up, the first thing you do is to look at that little black clock next to your side of the bed, the first thing you say when you see the time is
“SHIT!”..You jump out of bed, your mind thinks..
“Shit shit shit.. can I work from home AGAIN or should I make a dash for it. It’s 8.10am! How can I possibly make it in 50 minutes!”…There is no time to think, decide NOW! You stand beside your bed for 2 more seconds and you’ve decided.. Take your chances!.. You run into the bathroom, Pee! Rinse! Shampoo! Condition! Brush teeth! Wash Face! All in 5 minutes.. You run out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around you ignoring the winter wonderland feeling thanks to the 2 horsepower air-conditioning and on the way out of the bedroom, you bark at your husband, “
Narrrling! Get up! I need help!”
He springs out of bed at your order and in 2 seconds transforms from the sleepy head to the soldier drone.. “
YES!” and runs after you..
You continue walking fast out of the bedroom to the next room on the opposite side of the house while you shout,
“Pour out a glass of milk, take my lunch box and put it into a paper bag. Shut down my lap top and put it into my laptop bag!”
You reach your dressing room, you power up the hairdryer and blow it at your hair like crazy.. While your hair is flying wild all over your face from the strong gust of hot air coming out from the hairdryer, your eyes scan the racks of clothes. Choose something that doesn’t need to be ironed. Ah damn it. Jeans will do! With one hand still pointing the hair dryer at your head, the other hand pulls open a drawer searching through the clothes to find that company mini-t.. Got it!.. Hair is half dry.. Half dry for today is good enough! In the background, your husband says,
“Darling, which one is your lunch box?”“The one with 4 compartments!” You pick up your eyebrow pencil performing the usual ritual of your daily morning make up…
Almost in a panic, “
Which one? I don’t see it!”“The ONLY one with 4 compartments!” You pick up that eyeshadow, then the eyeliner then the blusher brush..
“Sorry, I can’t find it.”You toss your make up on the table, yank on that pair of jeans still on the floor, pull over that mini-t you just found, run out to the refrigerator, grab the 4 compartment lunch box, throw it into a bag, gulps down the glass of milk on the table and runs out. Your husband is standing beside your handbag, your laptop bag, standing at the door, getting ready for a quick good bye.. You exchange a few hasty kisses and is out of the door in a minute.
You get into the car and you start driving like mad. In between the radio deejay’s morning gotcha calls and singers singing about ‘London Bridge’ in rap style, you curse,
“Why the hell do I have to live 40 over kilometers away from my office!”
You drive for the next 35 minutes, making your way to Cyberjaya as fast as you can, at the same time trying to practice safe driving on the road. You decide, to overtake or not? How much time will it save me? You decide, to bust the speed limit or not, how much time will it save me?
You finally arrive at the one and only windy road that leads to your office… It is close to 9am. Your chances are cutting real slim… As you are driving, you look left, you look right.. Suddenly you see a familiar face in the car next to you!.. At the same time you saw him, he turns and sees you! You both started feeling nervous.. You step on the accelerator a little, just enough to overtake him. Seeing what you’re trying to do, he steps on the accelerator too! Another car coming from behind, spotted the both of you and at the sign of recognition, tries to overtake the both of you!. Upon seeing the 2nd driver, you floored the damn thing! No way are you going to let them get there before you! Seeing what you’re doing, they do the same! One young local guy and one senior foreign gentlemen, all trying to do a Formula 1 with you, the vulnerable and young and helpless young lady who probably needs it more than the both of them combined!
It was a close call, you reach the office entrance. Local guy got in first, you second, and senior foreign gentlemen 3rd… The moment you drive through the boom gate after flashing your card at the security booth, the 3 of you zoomed into the office premises with your mean driving machines…. Left, right, straight! Each one for its own, to find that glorious thing! In the car park, you see other cars driving wild, turn in here, turn in there, all squinting their eyes looking for that one precious emptiness.. You do your own thing now, don’t follow the car in front, it’ll limit your chances, you go your way.. faster! Faster! Ahhhh… gloooriouss.. you find an empty spot.. You maneuver your mean machine into the tight spot and you stop the engine. You close your eyes for 3 seconds. You let out a long sigh of relieve.. You say,
“Aaaaaaaahhhhh… I got a parking spot. I GOT A DAMN PARKING SPOT!!!!”
You gathered your stuffs, composed yourself, stepped out of your car and saw senior foreign gentlemen wildly driving past. Guess he’s not as lucky as you. After a while in the far distance, you see senior foreign gentlemen slow down, and slowly, with his head low, he quietly drove out of the office premises. If you were just a second later, your fate would have been sealed, just like senior foreign gentlemen. The time now is 9.08am.
You must give yourself a pat on the shoulder. You woke up at 8.10am and got there by 9.08am and in between, you did everything a girl needed to do in the morning to prepare for work, you drove 40 kms and on the way, you participated in a Fast & Furious Cyberjaya drift race.
While you are walking into your cubicle dragging your big in-fashion handbag, your heavy laptop bag and your lunch bag, you imagine senior foreign gentlemen parking his car in that faraway land near the sports center, probably now slowly getting out of the car, getting ready to start that long 10 - 15 minutes walk towards the office (depending on what shoes he’s wearing and how fast he’s walking). Brace yourself, senior foreign gentlemen, at least you’re not wearing stiletto heels and carrying 3 big bags.. You think to yourself,
“Phew! That was a close call! I MUST wake up earlier tomorrow..” then you turn back to your lap top with a self satisfied smile, power up your Outlook to get ready to start, yet another brand new day…
by Miki-C..
This was written somewhere middle of the year 2006...
"July 19th, 06 - Miki-C has found herself. She is not meant to sit around inventorising and renewing contracts for stuffy servers and software. She had her calling and has found a new love in beading!! Well, ofcourse she's not too sure how long this hobby will last. Narrrling says it's hot hot chicken shit. Well, judging from what happened to her last few endeavours, i guess i don't blame him for saying that. "
And this is now... and featuring my favourite piece for the recently passed October 2006...
This piece is called
Autumn in Rome. It's made out of a combination of Swarovski crystal beads and imported Korean glass beads with a beautiful Indonesian Natural Rock Pendant as the center piece. Yes, if you're interested to own this piece for only RM58, write to monomiki@gmail.com. If you're not too far away in the Klang Valley, delivery can be easily arranged.
For more designs, click
here. Prices range from RM18 - RM98.
The 'Good' Wife?
Some people say, being a good wife has different meanings with different people. Yesterday, my brother told me that my very traditional grandmother recently told his wife-to-be, that being a good wife is to wash not just my brother's clothes but also his parent's clothes
(good thing she didn't say grandparents as well because then that would sound highly suspicious).. My future sis in law must have had a quick fright.. When i heard that, i laughed.. because that notion of a wife diligently washing, drying, ironing and folding is just so distant to me.
Let me see, in my laundry room at home right now, there is a mountain of dirty laundry. If i don't get around it, Narrrling better starts doing it himself if he wants to wear a fresh pair of his favourite underwear tomorrow. When i do get around to doing laundry, Narrrling gets all excited because his favourite underwear is going to be clean again without him needing to lift a finger. It is funny sometimes when i hand him that particular pair of his favourite underwear just to see the excitement in his face. He throws his hands up into the air and goes,
"Yay! It's clean again!" and inside me i thought, man, it's so easy to make this boy happy.
Now back to the part about being a good wife. From my grandmother's stand point, i've obviously not been a very good one. Shame on you, Miki-C.
Alright, alright, if all it takes is to do the laundry and keep that particular piece of darn underwear clean, i'll put that into my new year resolutions for 2007.. Friends and family, if you are reading this, next time you see me, check on me, ok? Ask me if that piece of Banana Republic underwear is clean. If it is, it means i've been keeping up to my side of the promise to be a good wife.
