Paranoia
My 3rd trimester pregnancy has so far been mainly marked with one word, 'paranoia'. I was sitting on my bed a moment ago when i suddenly saw 2 round spots of wet stains on my sheets. The first question i asked myself was... "Oh shit, is that from my water bag?"...Last night i was doing some cleaning around the house when suddenly I realised that my thighs were a bit damp with moist... As usual, I asked myself, "Shit, Is that from my water bag?"... I changed out of those clothes into something else, sat myself in an air-conditioned room and waited.. No further dampness.. i guess it was sweat after all..
So yeah, paranoia hits the pregnant woman... and the supporting male lead... Everytime I say something like that, instead of pacifying me, Narrrling looks equally as worried with that should-we-rush-to-the-hospital expression all over his face.
We started attending pre-natal classes a few weeks ago and in the first class, they taught us to watch out for signs of pre-mature birth or a troubled baby in the womb... such as sudden changes of baby movements, bleeding, waterbag leaking..etc.. From that day onwards, I started dreaming of bleeding when i slept and in my wake hours, i started feeling that my baby's movements have changed. "Eh, I never felt him kick so hard before. Is that normal?"
"Why's he doing the same thing over and over again for the past 10 minutes?!! This can't be right!"
"Is he kicking me harder today? Is he facing some kind of distress?"
Basically it's a lot of scaring myself... and the supporting male lead...
The second pre-natal class, the instructor taught us how to recognize signs that I'm going into labour... Extreme back pain, water bag burst, stomach pain like I urgently need to go toilet..etc... The next day, Narrrling and I went out for indian food. After the meal, i had a terrible pain in my stomach and immediately I thought, "Is that labour pain or normal diarrhoea stomach pain?"
I started counting the time between pain/contractions... Then poor confused Narrrling asked me if he should drive me to the nearest toilet or the nearest hospital. I said, "I don't know! Toilet first!"
Yeah, then i found it was just one big stomach pain as an immediate reaction to the indian food. Apalar.. again i managed to scare myself... and the supporting male lead..
Oh yeah, another thing that bothers me in my 3rd trimester is also looking into the mirror. I have issues admitting I'm looking at myself. WHAT THE... !!! No wonder recently i met at least 2 colleagues I've not seen for a long time who had troubles recognizing me. I saw it, ok. They hesitated for like a second or two before recognizing me! One of them is a lady I was fairly close to so i asked her... "Oh my gawd! You didn't recognize me!! Have i changed so much??"....
Then she was quick on her come back line and said, "No, No... it must be your hair!"
Eh, how can lar.. I just had a trim, ok. Sigh... I look awful. Some people say, when you carry a girl, you'll look radiant and beautiful but nobody told me when you carry a boy, you'll look like Beastmaster! I think i look like a ball, short and round. You know what, one of these days when I'm tired of driving home from work, i should just roll home.
posted by Miki-C @ 5:38 PM
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